Marriage is a beautiful bond between two individuals, but it can also be challenging at times. It takes effort and commitment to maintain a healthy relationship, and the way you communicate with your partner can have a big impact on the quality of your relationship. Here are 21 words and phrases that you should never say to your spouse.

1. “You’re wrong.”

Telling your partner that they’re wrong implies that their thoughts, feelings, or opinions aren’t valid. It’s important to listen to and respect your partner’s perspective, even if you disagree.

2. “You always/never…”

Using absolutes like “you always” or “you never” can be hurtful and make your partner feel like they’re being attacked. These phrases can also make it seem like the problem is always one-sided.

3. “I wish you were more like…”

Comparing your partner to someone else is never a good idea. Everyone is unique, and it’s important to appreciate and accept your partner for who they are.

4. “I’ll change if you change.”

This statement places blame on your partner and puts the responsibility for change solely on them. Instead, focus on what you can change in yourself, and encourage your partner to do the same.

5. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

Minimizing your partner’s feelings or concerns can make them feel like their thoughts and feelings aren’t valid. It’s important to validate and acknowledge your partner’s emotions, even if you don’t understand or agree with them.

6. “I’ll do it later.”

Putting things off or procrastinating can make your partner feel like you don’t take their concerns or requests seriously. It’s important to be responsive and attentive to your partner’s needs.

7. “I can’t stand you.”

Making statements like this can be incredibly hurtful and damaging to your relationship. Even if you’re feeling frustrated or angry, it’s important to remember that you still love and care for your partner.

8. “It’s all your fault.”

Placing blame on your partner for problems in the relationship can be hurtful and make them feel like they’re being attacked. Instead, try to focus on working together to solve the problem.

9. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Avoiding difficult conversations can only prolong problems and make them worse in the long run. It’s important to be open and willing to talk about difficult issues, even if it’s uncomfortable.

10. “You’re crazy.”

Dismissing your partner’s thoughts or feelings as “crazy” can be hurtful and invalidating. It’s important to validate your partner’s emotions, even if you don’t understand them.

11. “You’re just like your (parent, sibling, etc.).”

Making comparisons to other people, especially family members, can be hurtful and make your partner feel like they’re being judged.

12. “You’re overreacting.”

Dismissing your partner’s emotions as overreacting can make them feel like their feelings aren’t valid or important. It’s important to listen to your partner’s perspective and understand where they’re coming from.

13. “You’re not good enough.”

Making statements like this can be incredibly hurtful and can make your partner feel inadequate. It’s important to remind your partner of their strengths and the things you appreciate about them.

14. “I don’t love you anymore.”

Making statements like this can be incredibly hurtful and can cause permanent damage to the relationship. Even if you’re going through a tough time or feeling frustrated, it’s important to remember that love and commitment are what hold a relationship together.

15. “I don’t need you.”

Making your partner feel like they’re not needed or valued in the relationship can be hurtful and damaging to the relationship. It’s important to remind your partner of their importance and value in your life.

16. “I don’t care.”

Making your partner feel like you don’t care about their thoughts, feelings, or concerns can be hurtful and make them feel unimportant. It’s important to show that you care and are willing to listen.

17. “You’re just like everyone else.”

Making your partner feel like they’re not special or unique can be hurtful and make them feel unimportant. It’s important to remind your partner of how special they are to you.

18. “I don’t need to change.”

Resistance to change is a common problem in relationships, but making statements like this can be hurtful and make your partner feel like they’re being dismissed. It’s important to be willing to make changes when necessary to improve the relationship.

19. “You’re not attractive anymore.”

Making statements like this can be hurtful and can damage your partner’s self-esteem. It’s important to remind your partner of the physical and emotional qualities you find attractive about them.

20. “I wish I never married you.”

Making statements like this can be incredibly hurtful and can damage the relationship permanently. Even if you’re going through a difficult time, it’s important to remember the reasons why you fell in love and committed to your partner in the first place.

21. “I’ll just do it myself.”

Making your partner feel like they’re not capable or willing to help can be hurtful and make them feel unimportant. It’s important to work together as a team and share responsibilities.

Conclusion

Communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship, and the words we choose to use with our partners can have a significant impact on the quality of our relationships. These words and phrases can be hurtful and damaging, and it’s important to be aware of them in order to communicate more effectively with our partners.

However, if you find that you and your partner are struggling to communicate effectively or if you’re experiencing problems in your marriage, don’t hesitate to seek out professional assistance. Couples counseling in Westchester, NY, can provide you with the tools you need to overcome any obstacles and build a stronger, more fulfilling relationship with your partner.